Krabi and Phuket

Hullo,

It's been a while since last we wrote, and this will only be quick. This is because we've been busy doing very little on the beach. We've been to various beaches, but this will serve as a quick review of two of the places we've been: Krabi and Phuket. Katie'll be along at some point in the future to tell you all about Ko Phi Phi. You'll have to excuse the brevity and paucity of this post but it's hard to think in sentences when the proprietor of your internet cafe is bombarding you with loud bad music ("Yellow" by Coldplay? Do Coldplay fans even like this song any more?). So, onward:

Krabi: We arrived in Krabi after yet more fun with tourist buses and stop-offs (see previous rants for my feelings on this livestock existence). Thus we turned up pretty late, and so we ended up staying in Krabi town as opposed to at the beach. Of the beaches around Krabi, Railay beach is supposed to be the beauty, with Ao Nang being for a "night out" (according to Lonely Planet, which actually uses the quotation marks around the phrase night out for some unknown reason in this instance). You have to get a Longtail boat to Railay beach, as there are no roads. Or rather, in our case, because it's low season, you can't get a Longtail boat to Railay beach so you go to Ao Nang in a bench pick-up thing the name of which I don't know how to say. On the way we met a middle-aged Australian couple. They had just spent eight weeks in Phuket but didn't like it (then why spend eight weeks there?) and had come to Ao Nang instead which they loved - "we could live here".

Interesting call, from them.

We found Ao Nang to be somewhat gaudy and a bit naff. The beach was slim and backed by a noisy main road. I mean, if you love the opportunity to buy fake Raybans, Havaianas, Same Same But Different Tshirts and general tourist tat from every single stall, then you're in luck. Mind you, the cocktails at happy hour worked. Sinews suitably stiffened, we headed back to Krabi town (which, by the way is largely dead, apart from an excellent night market).

So, that was Krabi. Railay is probably lovely, but we never saw it.

Phuket: We headed to Phuket under our own steam, getting a bench pick-up thing the name of which I don't know how to say to the bus station in Krabi, and then a normal bus to Phuket. No stops to sell onward tickets, hotel accommodation, or overpriced lunch: heaven.

Phuket's actually an island, but a pretty large one, and close to the mainland (connected by roads, hence us getting the bus there). Once there, we headed to Kata Beach (or Hat Kata, if you want to say it entirely in Thai), because we had been informed by the Usual Sources that it was a bit less Costa del Sol than the other beaches.

The other beaches must be pretty overdeveloped. Katie took a few looks at the place and immediately hated it. It was waaaay too crowded (and this is very much low season). After an exhaustive search for accommodation which involved walking around with our bags in the baking sun for probably 90 minutes we went to the beach and watched a lovely sunset with a beer.

Then we decided that the town and beach were manky and we should hotfoot it onwards the very next day. We duly booked transport to the famed tourist island of Ko Phi Phi for the following day, and then decided to celebrate with a few beers.

The only real drinking options in Kata (aside from, presumably, the bars in the all-inclusive resorts) are, not to put too fine a point on it, girly bars. You might imagine the sound that comes from them when they see me strolling along the road on my own: "freelance" girls in bars love the sight of an adult tourist! Then they see Katie dawdling along behind me, having stopped to pick her ear or look at a snail or take off a shoe or some such dawdly thing. It becomes apparent that I am unlikely to pay for the full services that the "freelance" girls as I am clearly with my wife (to whom I am no doubt saying "are you coming? Can you walk in front so that I can keep an eye on you and I don't end up charging off because you've stopped?").

To be fair to these bars, they do offer something to the honeymooning couple (apart from drinks, I mean): the possibility of playing games with the barmaids. That's right: games. To be clear, I played connect 4 with one barmaid; Katie played Jenga with the other. I drew 6-6 in my own personal challenge. Since this lady must be somewhat more match fit on connect 4 than me I was pretty pleased with this. Also she wasn't drinking, while the Thai rum definitely affected my concentration in some games, allowing her to steal some cheap wins.

The following day, nursing slight headaches, we got picked up at our hotel in a minivan, and taken to the ferry port, from where (after a massive delay which from what I gather is far from unusual with these things in this part of the world) we got a ferry to Ko Phi Phi. But that's where Katie comes in.